Dear Diary

Important Things and People

Not long ago, I sent an FB greet to a group of old friends who had moved to Sg half a year ago. And since then they have become a stone thrown into the sea, after the ripples nothing is to be found or seen. I thought our friendship could have withstood longer than that. I know sometimes I had wronged them but it wouldn't have to be so bad till none of them replied. Maybe the only way to proof them wrong about my worth is by living a better life than theirs. (gritted teeth)

Recently the group of friends from FC has conquered another mountain, this time Bukit Tabur. I was very much tempted to join but ended up staying back and watching Pirates Of the Caribbean. I felt cheap. Like the old shoes I hold on dearly so much but were too worn out to wear. I felt angry of myself for drifting with the flow. I'm still single (FYI not married), I shouted daringly in my mind. Never again will I stop myself from doing anything because of a BF aka boss (although his intentions are good, it IS a highly hazardously rated peak). I wanted to go Taman Pertanian or Putrajaya in exchange but in the end, I couldn't wake up from my bed on Sunday morning. Sheesh

But I need to keep track of important things and people in my life. The people who loves me genuinely (I know who you are and I love you too although you'll get complaints if you hold on too tight). So that I won't overdo it or overlook it. The key is to balance. I'm always off balanced. Always in the middle of a pursue. Always in anxiety (thanks to my third cup of coffee per day). Always in an adrenalin rush. Always onto something. Couldn't stop if I really have too. Half of me is enjoying it, half of me is screaming in agony.