Dear Diary

Today was hectic. Kinda put all efforts into building up the prop for puppet show on monday. Kids helped alot, but in the end i did it on my own. I rock.

Straight after there was class. Kinda lagging behind on maths. Sighz. Then duty and tuition right away.

Didn't notice that i was hungry at all till i had my first bite for the day. Shit was i starving.

Bliss was that when i reach home, i did some craft journaling.

It was a crazy day. Thought i lost my phone, drove back to the school and almost cried in front of pk1 at 7pm. Called the colleagues in the same office for an hour. Later to realize my phones are actually beneath my car due to morning before, they fell off because of a hump.

17 missed calls and 10 messages. Messages including 'give the phone back to yr teacher' and 'who are u?' Etc. Lol i love my friends.

1. Read facial expressions and speech connotations.
2. Draw beautiful watercolor drawings
3. Weave a basket with paper yarn
4. Make a no-sew rag rug
5. Weave a furniture with reed or rattan
6. Built own furnitures
7. Quilt a paper notebook
8. Sew a dress from satin and batik
9. Saw wood and assemble a patio or swing
10. Upholstery
11. Build-a-bear style stuff own cushion
12. Sew everything my own
13. Pave outdoor garden
14. Plant herbs and vegetables for consumption
15. Make clays and plasticine
16. Paint a blackboard
17. Make a rocking chair
18. Make great coffee and fruit shakes
19. Decomposition
20. Rain water catching and solar board system building

Another mega earthquake at 8.6 scale hitting the indian seas. Tsunami warnings are up. Affected areas are sumatera, srilangka, india, england and other surrounding areas. The following earthquakes frequented 10xs than usual. Very freakish. But if i trust my instincts, there'll be not much of a disaster till another 3,4 months. Then there'll be shit all over the world. And the new world will be reborned under great pressure. Us being part of the transformation. My feeling is that we'll be living in great differences than now.

Anyways, went for karaoke session with badminton gang. Really funny singing, i would say.

Then slept for sometime. Till the afternoon, felt some tremors and dizziness.

So, it's about life aa we know it. Someday we'll die and everything will go on without us. Better enjoy and cherish now or too late.

I'm really burnt out. Have been devastated because I've spent the last ounce of money on helping mom. I have been living on student's fees which are due next two months for food! I don't even dare buy anything other than food and photostating. How can someone be so pathetic... I feel so stressed because i've never felt this pitiful before!

The next thing i'm going to do is withdrawing my epf account 2 on the reason of eduction, but in truth, to give it to mom without having to return it! And i hated myself for hating mom like that. She wanted me to take a loan from the bank, but interest seems too high. Then i turned to york, and i feel shitty for even opening my mouth...

And yes, i feel disgusted for myself, and blames myself for lack of funds. But then again, ive subsidized my family for almost 1 year expenses with 1k per month... What heppened to all that? When can this mess get sorted out? When can mom starts to actually think wisely? When can my brother actually go find a fucking job? When can i stop funding everything other than myself?

Yes. I am selfish. I am loveless. Ungrateful. But what on earth should i feel when i need to feed on student's fees????

It fell on me greatly. Tmrw i'll be heading to kwsp. Hopefully the money is well-spent on. I wish i had said no and ignore eveeything that happened. But i cant!!! I cant!!

i hated my mom for wanting non stop. I hated my brother for being a failure!! I hated my father for not even trying to help!! And mostly i hated myself.

Sighz.

Assignments and test, so far a B+. Gotta work harder this time.

Life is hard when other people is depending on u. Relentlessly.

So today school was well, solved the restless money problems.

Another thing im glad of, is how shit turns well in a day. But work seems forever.

Another assignment under my belt. 5 so far, working on them slow and steady. :p

I will be getting 5 subjects in the following semester, since i aim to graduate next year, hopefully with flying colors.

Ate ban mee below school area. Realized that the aunties' banmee, nasi lemak, bakuteh and char kuey teow is the best i had so far. No kidding.

Raining meows and woofs. Was later than usual for lecture, but she agrees to spare me from punishment since the weather is so treacherous. Did a short sketch too, was fun and funny. Lol

Was rained all over though, wondering when am i ever going to have an umbrella. Lol. They're sooooo important!