Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Optimism is a thought away
In the morning I woke up feeling grumpy.
Meta KQ: enough girl, have a grip. What are you thinking right now?
IT KQ: I'm thinking, why do I have to go to school, why am I so bad at waking up etc.
Meta KQ: The thoughts you're holding on, does it help to improve?
IT KQ: not really. They just bring my mood down all day and it affects the kids and my social.
Meta KQ: So what should you think instead?
IT KQ: Hmm...That I'm not late, and I'm just in time, and I'm right to wake up at 5.10 am every morning?
Meta KQ: that's right. Keep going. Find the good of each thought and eradicate the bad ones.
IT KQ: You're right.
So I looked myself in the mirror and smiled. Hey, it's not a bad day after all. Turned out optimism is a thought away.
IT KQ: Why is everyone else so much popular than me?
Meta KQ: Why is this thought in your mind?
IT KQ: I'm jealous.
Meta KQ: Think what you have instead.
IT KQ: Hmm....She talked to me and smiled this morning. The kids have a great time in class the other day.
Meta KQ: Right. Look, you're good at what you do. What are you still worrying about?
IT KQ: That I'll never do enough.
Meta KQ: Does this thought help you to improve yourself?
IT KQ: Not really. It makes me gnaw on a mistake all day long. I'm devastated.
Meta KQ: What should you think instead?
IT KQ: That I've did the task with 0 mistakes, and hey, I've outdid the last post-holder.
Meta KQ: That's good babe. Keep it up.
And so I had another good mood day.
Monday, June 27, 2011
I feel like a teenager again. Rage. Low self-esteem. Uncertainty.
At school, I'm not a socializing person. And because of somethings I do, I rarely got close friends.
In daycare, mom seems to siding me a bit too much. I know I'm a brat.
I really hope I could change the way I present myself. Maybe add a bit of smiles on the poker face, and some carefree spirit.
Maybe I should stop thinking, and be myself. Gah, it's all so teenager thoughts again.
