Dear Diary

So I came across two dresses.
White one comes from Sungei Wang for RM39.90. I bought it in 2007, and wore it once during a count down with my ex.

Floral print one my sister bought after one try at Mooie, Bangsar.
I was too shy to wear it at any occasion, so regardless I give it special Kodak moment on my blog.

If you're wondering what is the black plushie, its called Charco, one of the Dooodolls collectibles.

This is practically my first try of self-timing my photographs and modeling in it. LOL courtesy of being bored during holidays.

Every year, I wish for a resolution.
Although not all came true(sometimes not even one), but it gives me strength to move on in life.
Well, we do only have a few years to spare.
So this year , I wish for:

1) Great handy skills - bake, paper craft and sewing
2) write fiction
3) Sing and write songs to be posted on youtube
4) Travel at least 3 countries - Taiwan, China and Australia
5) Join a dance club, learn piano, sketch and illustration
6) Verification of teachership, pass my interview and survive being a teacher

That's all, not much isn't it.

Everybody, at least people I know, has been freaking out since 2012 came out as a hit.
Wow I guess everyone's really buying this theory, I wonder why.
Was it because of the earthquakes that happened simultaneously all over the globe not long ago? Was it because of the Mayan Calendar that ends on that day? Was it because the climate is changing so fast today that no one knows when the tsunami will hit? Was it because global warming has becoming the truth? Was it because human race fail to notice that 50 years ago?
All this could be the end of us. Wipe out, Kong to the max.
Or it could be a beginning.
Whatever it is, 2012 is such a short distance from now, that I'm sorta nervous of how it is going to be on that day.
Massive waves? Frozen earth? Traumatic earthquakes? Or just Boom. And all has vanished.
I prefer the last. When we know the end is going to come, we prefer to make it easier and painless.
But what if it doesn't happen? Maybe I'll get a tattoo. Maybe I'll be a porn star. Maybe I'll open a bakery shop. It's all what ifs and maybes.
Don't you just love it when life's full of mysteries.

1. Air
Klang~ Polluted, foggy and virus friendly
Ipoh~ fresh, clean and clear
2. Scenery
Klang~ Buildings (unfinished) everywhere, wastelands, vandalized parks
Ipoh~ Trees and mountains, picture perfect dawn and dusk
3. People
Klang~ Materialistic, cheapskate and arrogant
Ipoh~ Down-to-earth, contented and humble (and good looking!)
4. Traffic
Klang~ A short distance that takes ages to cross
Ipoh~ Roads are broad and nice to drive through
5. Freedom
Klang~ Nagging nonstop, house chores and financial responsibility (who think I'm still a kid)
Ipoh~ Friends who treat you as an equal, not as someone more empowered
6. Friends
Klang~ All have forgotten about me
Ipoh~ Good friends who I missed
7. Bus Rides
Klang~ Teeming with foreigners whom would possibly poke you with a knife
Ipoh~ Great service eventhough they are rusty and crankling
8. Crime Rates
Klang~ Kill, rape, snatch and break in. Everything goes for this corrupted city.
Ipoh~ Slow-paced, less hectic town with a peaceful ambience
9. Water
Klang~ Sewer water reproduced
Ipoh~ From the mountains!
10. Drivers
Klang~ Gangsters, freakos and insanios
Ipoh~ Would have never seen an Ipoh driver who drives like Klang people
11. Road Conditions
Klang~ Lots of holes and traps, the land can't hold up any longer
Ipoh~ Smooth and smooch
12. Shopping Malls
Klang~ Walk so fast I might tropple over three person at once, or outfits so funky I have no
idea what year I'm in
Ipoh~ Family outings and laughter, without building cracks and overcharged parking
13. Food
Klang~ If its not to fulfil my tummy, I would choose not to eat
Ipoh~ Great food, GREAT FOOD, with a reasonable price
14. Me
Klang~ Cranky, old, trapped and unhappy
Ipoh~ Free, independent and less destructive comments and killjoy happenings

I guess, in real life experience of 23 years, the most agonizing thing is not at the exact moment of a happening, but it is of the waiting process.
It takes guts to wait for something big to happen. The sensation is like having a rock constantly flattening your chest.
When I was young, I remembered the time when my mom was about to give a spanking. There I was in the shower, listening to mom's voice growing outside of the thin bathroom door, obviously because of something I did, and I swear I heard teeth grinding. Scary like hell!
Then I grew a little taller. I was a class monitor, but not a born leader and a role model, for sometimes I tricked some teacher into thinking that I had handed up my assignment by forging the name list ticks. But when the teacher found out, I was in great trouble, and humiliation.
So now there's the Surat Perlantikan. It was supposed to be in my hands three weeks ago, and apparently up till now, they haven't have a clue of where our documents are.
And we waited patiently, waiting blindly as the date of posting arrives near.
It isn't the anticipation of posting venue which is killing me, it is the MOMENT OF WAITING that is driving me crazy.

Cleaning is a nuisance.
Coming from me, the world's simple-minded-est daily life managing idiot.
I know a friend, who is really capable of doing and in love with her chores.
She comes home, washes clothes by hand, sweeps and mops the floor, do laundry and fold clothes, iron them... Living two weeks with her in the house is like living in contrast of a pig and bee.
And another friend, who is the tidiest person I ever knew who put her things in the most correct order in every way possible.
I mean, its mind-boggling enough to put clothes in closet, she even hangs them according to color, length, times of usage, and the distance between hangers had to be 5 cm. Talk about neurotic.
But today I have to do it, or else my mom will start to deduct my FAMA sponsor.
I washed my hill of shoes, removed unwanted bags (Kesian them~), clean the windows and huff puff play Restaurant City.
And the things I threw out has to go somewhere.
So I decided to start up a new project for the remaining leisure I have.
Throw a junk sale.
Hehe... Sounds easy, and really exciting, but the work can be really tricky.

So far, I've received 2 red bombs in a row. Many of my friends are planning to get married.
But the thing is, how much should I give as dinner fee?
I remembered there's a case where someone gave a shred of newspaper in a wedding.
It's funny how people can give THAT without consulting his conscience.
My friend told me that it is wise to give RM60 if its in a restaurant, and provided we are not that of a very close friend.
But if its a very close friend getting married, then the fee can rate up to RM300, defers on the venue.
Chinese weddings, well, the main idea is the more you invite the better, because it classifies you. The bigger the wedding, the richer. It's all about kaching.

Mom and dad has been relying on each other for all these while, for now I know.
Dad's knee has lost its mobility and mom's eye is in need of a cataract surgery.
The share of burden fell on my shoulders. Other than prompt dad to visit the specialist, I need to bring mom tour around Klang area to run errands. If I'm not there, I wonder how will they live in this kind of dire condition. But turns out, they'll be just fine, not that I want to avoid my responsibility, mom and dad always find a way to make things work. They even have time to look after me. Feeling remorseful I always try to make it up to them. Dad's limping foot has never slowed him down in life, and mom's blurry vision has never stopped her from making the right decisions. Life takes more than that to bring someone down. They have each other.

Many mistook me for being too serious or mysterious.
Sometimes when I fool around, like throwing in a cold joke in a serious conversation, people don’t get it.
Sometimes no matter what kind of freak of the nature facts I present, people believe me.
So there’s an advantage.
When I said something I regret, I can say that I wasn’t serious at that time, even if I looked and sounded serious.
Or if I just realized I’ve said something stupid, people knowing me, will think that I was probably making some joke again.
Therefore when I say ‘I’m serious,’ think again.

There was one time, when I participated in a dance performance, and my costume was an Iban’s.
A new mandarin lecturer came to talk to some of the juniors, hence I tried to join in the conversation with them.
The first sentence he greeted me was disturbingly, in malay.
“So, mana awak dapat baju ini?”
I wasn’t sure if he was trying to make fun of me the friendly was, or he seriously thought I was a Malay, so I answered, “Puan pinjam dari sekolah.”
“Ohhh… Saya ingat ini baju awak. Berapa agaknya baju ini?”
“Mesti mahal kut, I pun tak tau, Encik.”
And we had a Malay conversation for 5 minutes, until a junior came to ask in mandarin, “sir, why are you speaking in Malay?”
He was taken aback for a while, and asked me slowly, “Are you a Malay or a Chinese?”
I answered “华人。”
Knowing that I was playing along, he suddenly turned cold and embarrassed.

That was the most serious joke I’ve ever made.
So next time, people ask me Why So Serious? Think again, I may not be that serious.

New Blog on the block!
Hush is climbing out of her shell. :)
After ending the 5 and a half year course with a night at Kbox, followed by mid night noodle hunt and spending the rest of the night at Mcd, we bid good bye with each other, for the first time, in tears and hugs.
Was it the accumulated time we had together, or was it the ups and downs we've been through, our love for each other is strengthened by day, as if blood-tied.
Leaving Ipoh is the hardest thing for me to do without having a hard time drowning my sorrows forcefully.
Leaving my friends, my sisters, brothers and mentors was even harder.

Farewell...